This question is not simply limited to a church service. It could apply to a presentation, a board meeting, or any situation in which a silent audience is expected. In such an event, how do you open the plastic wrapper on a peppermint, for example, without causing undue distraction? I see at least four options:
- Gradually unfurl the wrapper, timing each crinkle to match times of greater volume in the speaker’s presentation.
- Cough very forcefully and loosen the wrapper all in one motion. You will draw attention to yourself, but it will be directed away from your fumbling hands and may even be mingled with some momentary pity.
- Bank all your hope on the fleeting short-term memory of those around you and get it over with as quickly as you can.
- Petition candy companies to wrap their products in cloth.
Which do you prefer? Do you have any other ideas?
6 comments
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November 24, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Jessica
I generally prefer when people just do it all at once to get it over with - it’s the same thing with zippers… The slower you go, the longer your noise is drawn out! And everyone knows what you’re doing anyway…
I find a good strategy for being quiet is to open the candy up INSIDE something else - I reach into my purse and unwrap it deep inside my purse. Alternatively, if your coat is handy, you can put your coat on your lap, and unwrap the candy under the coat. It muffles the sound a bit.
Either way, faster is better - that way you’re only a fleeting distraction, rather than a prolonged distraction!
November 24, 2008 at 1:41 pm
John Meche
Undo all the wrapping inside of your purse/pocket to muffle the sound. The only downside is the possibility of lint.
November 24, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Andrea
Johnathon — I laughed out loud when I read this. I usually sit by Steph at church…you can guess the rest! But I should admit that I’m probably just as guilty…
November 25, 2008 at 3:12 am
Keri Rosen
Great question, and one that I have pondered many times. I vote with the “get it over fast” crowd.
November 25, 2008 at 9:47 am
Mom
Share one with EVERYONE around you, then you’re not the only one singled
out as disturbing the service!
Seriously .. buy Listerine strips - they quietly melt away in your mouth and
no one’s the wiser .. unless they notice your eyes watering from the intensity
of it!
November 25, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Roy Garringer
If the candy is wrapped like one of those individually wrapped lifesavers, do this:
1) Hold one end of the wrapper.
2) Put the wrapped candy in your mouth.
3) Close your teeth lightly over the wrapped candy just behind your fingers.
4) Close your lips over your fingers.
5) Pull the wrapper quickly, depositing the candy in your mouth as the wrapper slides out from between your teeth muffled by your lips.
6) Put the damp wrapper away quietly.