I was sitting at my desk yesterday and Crystal was standing over me doing whatever wives do when they stand over their husbands sitting at their desks. She was kind enough to point out to me (again) that my scalp is shining a little more than it used to at the top of my head. This has set me to thinking. Given that I may very well lose some hair in the coming years, how does a man go bald with dignity? I see at least six options that don’t involve some sort of surgical or medicinal procedure:
- Buy a wig now so that people are used to it by the time I’m 50.
- Wear very tall shoes and refuse to sit down unless everyone around me is seated.
- Always wear a hat. Even when I’m sleeping.
- Grow a big, nasty beard so people don’t even think about my head.
- Sport a sweet combover with strategically-spaced, well-greased strands.
- Shave it all. Better yet, get it waxed.
What do you think? What’s the best way for a man to lose his hair in style?
20 comments
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October 21, 2008 at 11:52 am
Trenton B
I’ve always told Katie that I would rather shave it off for the rest of my life the suffer the emasculating humiliation
October 21, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Kevin
Shave it off and be free from the bondage of hair!!!!! It is a product of the fall anyway so you may as well dump it now! You should try electrolysis to remove it all and not have to worry about shaving everyday.
October 21, 2008 at 4:53 pm
wife
a product of the fall?? where’s that idea from?
emasculating? i think balding is actually… kind of attractive. wisdom…. maturity…
i like it
October 21, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Mom
Me too!! Hey, how you’d get that picture of your grandfather?! :-)
October 21, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Molly Piper
Can someone seriously wax their head??? That sounds PAINFUL!
October 21, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Paul
I think the safest bet is to go with a combination of numbers 1, 2, 3 and 4. You may want to consider working someplace dark, too — preferably underground. ;-)
Actually, I prefer the ageless and airstreamed look of C.J. Mahaney (and Elisha?) — but it’s probably a bit chilly during a Minnesota winter.
October 21, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Nick
shave it. hands down… every time. even if it doesn’t look that great. it has to look better than the horribly long going bald process. then again, this is just my humble opinion.
October 22, 2008 at 8:56 am
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October 22, 2008 at 10:42 am
Russ
Two suggestions: grow a big scary beard (well, I’ve always had a beard, its just greyer and scarier now) and wear a skull & crossbones do-rag. I guarantee no one will say anything to you about your baldness. That’s what I did. Check out my pic on my blog. :-)
October 22, 2008 at 11:04 am
Yul Brynner II
Easy: Cut it very short.
If you’re self conscious about it, start working out. Seriously.
If you’re balding, the only person you’re fooling is you. Hard truth, but true.
October 22, 2008 at 11:07 am
Chris Roberts
My hair has been in slow decline for about 10 years. When it first started I was an undergrad harrassing a friend who was going gray. His response: “At least I have hair that can go gray!”
I still have most of mine but it is more noticeably declining now. It bothers me not. My beard helps make up the difference, and I do wear a hat more often to protect my head from the sun. I may eventually go for a full-blown Patrick Stewart look.
October 22, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Jon
Just get yourself one of these:
http://www.kotulas.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=10051&storeId=10001&productId=13802&langId=-1&parent_category_rn=10123&top_category=10081
October 23, 2008 at 12:56 am
Le Gallois
Grow a nice short beard. Trimming weekly is SO much nicer than shaving daily.
Clipper beard and head to a uniform length. Way cool !Like that Jonathan Ive designer for Apple who is so cool he could reverse global warming single-handed.
Always wear a hat - woolly in winter, cotton and floppy in summer.
Russ : you must have been a very scary beardy baby !
Kevin : hair = creation ordnance, baldness = fall. It’s obvious.
October 23, 2008 at 6:42 am
Larry Huffman
I agree with others on cutting it short or shaving it altogether. I started losing mine in my early 20s and didn’t really come to this realization until my mid-30s. Ask your barber for a “number 2″; he/she will know what that means!
October 24, 2008 at 7:54 am
heldveld
Being 6′6″ and bald I can tell you #2 isn’t a good option.
Buy yourself a Wahl trimmer (w/ the #2) and do your own hair cuts. I’ve saved hundreds in the cost of cuts, hair gel/spray and combs. Not to mention how much quicker I can get ready in the morning and added bonus, no hat hair either. Look at the bright side, but don’t stand in the bright sun to long with out a hat!
Also please remember Leviticus 13:40 ‘When a man has lost his hair and is bald, he is clean’
October 24, 2008 at 9:42 pm
Jason
The shave it off. Funny our pastor mention the subject of going bald a few weeks ago and his suggestion was to shave it off. I trying hard to think on how that tied into his sermon.
October 24, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Jason
Now I know
October 25, 2008 at 7:55 am
davehess
4 & 5 sound like fun, but I’m not sure. Maybe you could just experiment with each of those methods for a month or so and see how it goes?
October 25, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Nova Scotia Scott » Blog Archive » News you can use
[...] What’s the best way to go bald? [...]
October 29, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Kevin
Ok I guess I should have clarified. I meant to say “hair growth” is a product of the fall since hair is made from dead skin cells and Adam and Eve’s cells did not die in the Garden…